I must start this post with a disclaimer: these photos are not my own. I stole them from family members' social media sites. I believe credit is due to Kadi Tiede for the photography and Kathryn Weaver for the edited memorial photo.
Our Thanksgiving week festivities began in a way that we could have never imagined. We were heading to the cities for the week when I got a phone call from my cousin (in-law) Doug - A phone call that I will never forget. He and my cousin Jenny had gone in to give birth (a scheduled c-section) to their much anticipated twins and as I answered the phone, the expected excitement that I was waiting for quickly changed to absolute sadness when Doug told me that one of the twins had been still-born.
Sophia Marie will always have a special place in our hearts and someday we will get to meet this child of God in heaven. This was NOT God's plan...things DON'T always happen for a reason...and God does NOT deliberately cause pain upon us for any reason. (and PLEASE, don't ever let anyone try to convince you otherwise). We are created and LOVED immensely by an ALL-LOVING God. God would NEVER take a child away from anyone for some greater purpose. But you better believe, that God was right there with Jen and Doug (and all of us) crying and mourning the loss of Sophia and the hopes and dreams that were had for her on this earth.
Yes, this was a phone call that I will never forget. A very hard phone call to receive, and I'm sure a harder phone call to make on Doug's behalf. And as the day went on, it was such a bittersweet day... a day of conflicted emotions. I wanted to shout for joy and yell congratulations for beautiful Andrew that was alive and doing well...yet I wanted to cry and be angry and console Jen and Doug for beautiful Sophia whose life was taken too soon.
I never did figure out how to handle all those emotions...except to allow all of them in whenever they needed to be expressed. I do know that Jenny and Doug have been extremely strong and transparent through this time in their lives, and will continue to be amazing parents and grow as a family with the joy and the sadness that they carry. My heart continues to ache for them, but also has so much joy for their beautiful family. Conflicted Emotions. Again.
Jen and Doug's hired photographer, Kadi Tiedi, captures these emotions on her Facebook page, where she writes:
"Two babies, one heartbeat.
Both incredible joy for what is and immeasurable grief for what will never be.
We celebrate and we mourn.
Both, deeply.
Heaven and earth shared airspace in that operating room..."
I was so fortunate to be in the cities for the week so that I could easily head down to Rochester a couple of times to be with Jen and Doug. There was a beautiful service for Sophia and Andrew is as precious as can be.
Gifts from God. Both of them. All of them.
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